Something changed since I started to creatively express myself.
I do not remember exactly when I noticed that the chatting in my head went away – this in contrast to other experiences on this path which where very overwhelming – but since I found a way to channelize my attention and hereby expanding my consciousness, a whole other world has revealed itself, a world that is pregnant with meaning and beauty.
It is in this place, where words have lost their function and all of society’s games have been exposed for the illusion that they are, that the inspiration is felt like a source of energy shooting up my spine. The need to create is so powerful here, that it is almost impossible to ignore (according to Mara, a friend and fellow artist, the Dutch word for this feeling is knaldrang).
One of the things that silence has taught me, is that quite a lot of people in our society seem to be trapped in a never ending monologue – either internal or external - with oneself. A monologue yeah, since it completely lacks the essential characteristic of a dialogue: an openness or interest to the reality behind the words of the Other. There is often literary no break between the words that could function as a possible opening for the Other, they flood out of them like people entering a store on black Friday: unashamed, unfocused, overwhelmingly present and, to be honest, quite boring and uninteresting most of the times. It is a repetitive attack on the here and now, on the world as it appears before our eyes and that we can experience directly through our senses. The words take our awareness away from the place that we are and force us to be aware of the mind-world of the person that is talking, thereby slowly hijacking our own thought process and forcing us to synchronise our mirror neurons with the feelings of the one with verbal diarriea.
Why would someone do this? Well, on a deepest level I propose it is a fear of losing control. But what does this actually mean, to lose control - over what does one exactly loose control? What is there to fear?
Now I'm gonna paint, continue later.